


Sharp Dressed Man

by Good_News_Everyone



Category: Community (TV), How I Met Your Mother, Suits (TV)
Genre: Gen, Scotch and suits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 19:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3146264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Good_News_Everyone/pseuds/Good_News_Everyone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>‘We’re</em> all <em>devious bastards. That’s why we get along so well.’</em></p>
<p>The one where Jeff Winger, Barney Stinson and Harvey Specter are drinking buddies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sharp Dressed Man

**Author's Note:**

> Oy, this one’s been floating around my hard drive for a long time; two of these shows are no longer on the air (Internet reprieve aside) and I’m about a season behind on the third.   
> But I have a weakness for assholes in sharp suits, so here it is; the Community/How I Met Your Mother/Suits crossover fic absolutely no one asked for. You’re welcome. :D
> 
> If you’re unfamiliar with one of the shows:   
> \- Jeff Winger (Community), morally dubious though very competent lawyer with daddy issues, busted for practicing without a law degree and therefore working his way through his Bachelors at a community college of extremely poor repute.   
> \- Barney Stinson (HIMYM), morally dubious, promiscuous and snappy-dressing corporate stooge with daddy issues. Best friends (shut up, Ted) with a lawyer named Marshall.  
> \- Harvey Specter (Suits), occasionally morally dubious and super-ultra-badass lawyer, who hired a pothead college-dropout genius as an associate just because he thought he was more interesting than the usual Harvard drones. And yes, he has daddy issues.
> 
> Please, no spoilers for Suits past end of Season 2!

~

It was all Marshall’s fault, really.

Jeff, unlike _some_ people, understood the importance of establishing a cover, which was why he was spending his evening at a Columbia Law School reunion subtly convincing drunken alumni that they remembered him from their undergrad years.

‘’S really good to see you ‘gain, Jeff,’ slurred the guy he was currently working – Mark? Martin? Whatever. ‘Can’t r’member the last time we hung out like this.’ He patted Jeff on the shoulder clumsily, leaving a smear of hors d’oeuvre on his sleeve. ‘Oh. Sorry, man.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Jeff lied through his teeth. ‘It’s only my favourite suit. Which happens to be a dry-clean-only silk blend. And hand-tailored. And Zegna.’

‘Oh. Cool.’ The man blinked owlishly. ‘Hey, you should meet my friend Barney, he’s somewhere around here. He likes suits too. HEY BARNEY!’

‘YEAH MARSHALL!’ came the reply from somewhere nearby, and a sharply dressed blond man popped out of the milling crowd around them, looking curiously at Jeff.

‘This’s Jeff,’ Marshall said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders – Jeff suspected he was trying to keep himself upright. ‘I guess we were at Columbia t’gether, but I forgot. But it must’ve happened, ‘cause he’s at the reunion. He likes suits too.’

‘Good to meet you,’ said Barney, a slightly quizzical look in his eyes. ‘Hey, Marshall, I saw ‘em making strawberry daiquiris at the bar. Why don’t you go get one?’

‘Yes!’ Marshall beamed, hauling himself upright. ‘Want me t’ get you one too?’

‘No, I think we’re good, buddy,’ Barney called, watching his friend stagger off through the crowd. He turned back towards Jeff.

‘Nice work, _Jeff_ ,’ he said approvingly. ‘How long’ve you been coming to these things? You seem to have the whole room pretty much convinced you’re one of them.’

‘What?’ Jeff said lightly, while the bottom dropped out of his stomach. ‘I’ve been coming every year since I graduated. In ’08. Like everyone else here.’

‘Oh relax, I’m not going to turn you in,’ Barney said, waving a hand dismissively. ‘I’m not even a lawyer, I’m just here because ‘attorney’ is on my to-do list, if you know what I mean.’ He winked. ‘Besides, I appreciate a good hustle as much as anyone. You should see some of the shit I’ve pulled over the years.’

Jeff relaxed fractionally. ‘What gave me away?’

‘You’re too sober, my friend,’ said Barney expansively. ‘There’s only one reason to not be partaking of the copious free booze at this party, and that’s if you’re trying to put something over on the people more drunk than you.’

‘Or that you have better taste in alcohol than shitty cocktails and pinot.’ Jeff said, taking a sip of his wine and making a face.

‘True. I should introduce you to my lawyer,’ Barney said thoughtfully. ‘Not the in-house lawyers, those guys are dicks, but my personal guy. Kind of an asshole. Great taste in Scotch, though. Name’s Specter.’

Jeff choked a little on his drink. ‘ _Harvey_ Specter?’

‘Yeah, do you know of him?’

‘Best closer in New York, works for one of the top firms in the country, recently became their youngest ever Senior Partner?’ said Jeff. ‘ _Yeah,_ I know of him.’

‘Cool.’ He proffered a business card. ‘Give me a call next time you’re in New York, I’ll call him up, we’ll go out on the town together.’

‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea-,’ Jeff demurred, because if this guy Barney, whoever he was, could see through him in an instant, he was sure as shit that _Harvey fucking Specter_ would be able to.

‘Trust me, he’ll understand.’ Barney said cockily. ‘Let me tell you about his new associate…’

~

And so it was that several years later, Harvey Specter, Barney Stinson and Jeff Winger wound up in one of the most upmarket bars in New York on a Saturday night.

They didn’t do this often – between Barney and Harvey’s busy schedules and, lately, Jeff’s class timetables, it was rare that they were all in New York simultaneously. But once in a while, it was nice to meet up with like-minded devious bastards, crack open a bottle of thirty year scotch, and bitch about their asshole colleagues (Barney and Harvey), the  lack of decent jobs in Colorado (Jeff), and the general lack of sartorial sense among their friends (all three of them).

‘All right,’ said Barney, setting down his glass. ‘It’s been fun, gentlemen, but I can see a gorgeous woman in that crowd of lawyers who just walked in and I’m going to go plead my case.’

‘He still hasn’t managed to cross out ‘attorney’ yet?’ Jeff asked as Barney took off.

‘Not for lack of trying.’ Harvey said dryly. ‘So, I heard you ended up taking a teaching job at your community college. How’s that working out for you?’

‘Ugh.’ Jeff tipped his head back, staring morosely up at the ceiling. ‘I would cheerfully strangle each and every one of those little shits and do my time smiling.’

Harvey smirked around his glass. ‘Should have stayed in practice, Winger.’

‘Don’t I know it.’ Jeff slanted a glance sideways at the older lawyer. ‘Could you maybe-‘

‘-forget it, Winger, even your fake degree wasn’t from Harvard.’

‘Uh-huh. And where did your current associate graduate from, again?’

‘Get back to me when you have an eidetic memory and then we’ll talk.’

Conceding defeat for the moment, Jeff turned back to the bar, only to stop as something caught his eye. ‘Hey – isn’t that your boss Stinson is hitting on?’

‘Yup.’ Harvey answered calmly, watching as the blond man attempted to schmooze an elegant lady almost a head taller than him in her designer heels. Judging by her unimpressed expression, he was failing.

‘Shouldn’t you be heading to the rescue?’

‘Please,’ Harvey snorted, taking another pull of his scotch. ‘Jessica could eat him for breakfast without even chipping a nail. She doesn’t need defending, trust me.’

‘I was talking about Barney,’ Jeff said. ‘He _is_ your client.’

‘If I tried to talk Stinson out of every poor decision he made, I’d never get to go home,’ Harvey said. ‘I like to think of this as a learning experience.’

‘Learning what, exactly? To not pick up women in bars?’ asked Jeff. ‘Because you just spent half the night flirting with the redhead in the corner, and don’t think I didn’t see her slip you her number.’

‘To choose his battles wisely,’ said Harvey smugly. ‘Like you said; I got her number. He, on the other hand, is going to walk away with a severely bruised ego if he’s smart, and a severely bruised crotch if he’s not.’

‘That’s cold,’ Jeff said, grinning. ‘I knew there was a reason I liked you.’

Harvey laughed. ‘You’re not so bad yourself.’ He looked appraisingly at Jeff. ‘I’m going to be honest-‘

‘You shouldn’t be, that’s a terrible habit for a lawyer.’

‘-I would offer you a job, if I thought you really wanted it.’

That pulled Jeff up short. ‘What?’

‘You’re an excellent lawyer, and I’m not above bending the rules for exceptional talent, obviously,’ Harvey said. ‘But I think that as much as you complain, you like it where you are - in your school with your friends - better than you liked being a shark. And I’m not going to be the one to force you to decide between them.’

It was on the tip of Jeff’s tongue to rebut, to argue that what the hell, _yes_ he’d drop the entire study group like a shot for a job with _Pearson Hardman_ , but as he opened his mouth he suddenly imagined Annie and Shirley’s disappointed faces, Britta’s accusatory stare, Troy and Abed’s bewildered voices – _why are you leaving us, Jeff?_ – and thought of what it would be like to trade the flawed, crazy, _real_ friends he had for the polished, superficial, backstabbing world of corporate law again.

He closed his mouth.

Harvey, watching him narrowly, gave a self-satisfied grin when he saw the realisation dawn on Jeff’s face. ‘Thought so,’ he said complacently.

‘You’re an asshole,’ Jeff muttered into his glass.

‘We all are, that’s why we get along so well,’ said Harvey. ‘Now shut up and let’s watch Stinson crash and burn. Fifty bucks says she makes him cry like a baby.’

~

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna admit, I wrote this mainly to have an excuse for Jeff to meet Harvey. Because I think they’d have gotten along like a house on fire. By which I mean people screaming and running and emergency services being called. ;)
> 
> But when I was considering how they’d meet, I remembered that Jeff claimed to have a degree from Columbia (he does, but the country, not the university), Marshall is a Columbia grad, and Barney must have a really _fantastic_ lawyer to get away with the shit that he pulls.
> 
> And bam, fic.


End file.
